So I work at a bakery. And I'm fast learning, I'm pretty good at it. I'm not meaning to brag or anything. It's just that not many people can wake up at 3 am every day and give every person (rude people who throw their money on the counter included) a warm, sunshine-y smile as they ask them "Can I help you?" But the interesting part of it is that not only am I good at it, but I enjoy it. More than I ever thought I would. To the point where I wish I could get up at 3 am every day of my life. I know it sounds crazy, but I would be happy. Probably more than if I finished school and taught, which I also know I love. But there's something so satisfying about helping someone, smiling, just influencing a little of their day, that makes me feel more accomplished than almost any other moment in my life.
To be perfectly honest, the bakery is saving me right now. Without it, I'd have nothing to distract me from the rest of my life, which hasn't been going so great. I've started to see that my entire life has been nothing but cycles. When it comes to friends, relationships, it all begins and ends the same way, no matter how different I think the situation is. And I'm hoping, for once, I can change how I usually deal with things, because I can't stand the idea of the cycle completing again, especially in this one instance.
And let's not touch too much on the subject of family, right now. Basically, I'm being forced to watch as the people I love the most are hurt and suffering, or walking willingly towards needless misery, with no one to tell it all to, or any way to help. It's more than I can bear sometimes.
I keep doing what I shouldn't. And the bad thing is it's starting to weigh less and less on my conscience. Someone told me to not give up, that I can change. I think I have given up already, just haven't given up on hoping I can change. Doesn't make any sense, but there you go.
Oh, the title? My aunt told me that the other day when I saw her at a track meet after work. I smelled like buttercream frosting...her favorite.
If baking is what you love doing, and you see it in your future, I say go for it.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to you about the family thing. Their never perfect and it's heart breaking. But keep a prayer in your heart.
Cycles suck, but they can always be broken. Instead of marveling at the past, analyze. Hopefully next time things will work out.
Your posts worry me. I am a reader of yours because I would imagine we are around the same boat. I must say that the old use will never be back. As harsh as it sounds. That is the point of life, to grow. I hope my words have helped.