...I think I'm going insane. Now, you may think that the declaration of insanity might be uncalled for, but I'm far more lost than I'm letting on. Even to myself. I can't really figure out what I even want day to day in my life. I used to have a plan, and a damn good one if I do say so myself. But lately...it's like I've been forced to start from scratch against my will. The events of these past two years have really piled up until...well, this. I look back at myself and long for it. What's even worse is I look at myself today in the mirror with the mental stance of myself two years ago and want to destroy my reflection. If that doesn't say something, I don't know what does. To put it simply, all that goes through my mind lately is "How the fuck did I get here and who the fuck am I?" It's a safe thing to say that I can't stand myself on a most primal level. And I'm realizing if that's the truth, I don't deserve the one thing that's been on my mind lately.
I think that kills me more than anything. I don't ever see myself getting even within walking distance of the person I used to be. And that's sad, because even that person was flawed...
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