Unforgettable.

Well. Dinner last night was interesting. If only for the reason that I saw that. It shattered what was left of my broken heart. I wanted to run from the room screaming. I was positive that it showed, that the pain coursing through me was obvious enough that someone noticed. But no one did. I guess I'm just that good at hiding my emotions.

And of course the one person I tried to tell just told me "Don't think about it." IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE. I can't just turn off my mind! And for me, that's the part of me that will always retain the most of my attention. It's true.

I wish I'd never seen it. Because it's truly sapped me of what little strength I had left. I wish I didn't have a reason to keep trying. I don't want to keep trying. Just let me give up.

Coming Clean Isn't So Easy

I want to tell him. I need to tell him. It's the only way to completely move on.

But he won't want to listen. It'd be the biggest mistake to open my mouth. He's made it perfectly clear that the subject is unwelcome, and I'm not sure I could bring myself to bring it up.

Once again, I'm thinking of others before myself. I know I can't help it (and now fully understand why), but for once, I wish I had the courage to do something solely for myself. For once, I'm tired of protecting others.