And even though I know that every time I take a drink, it brings me down, down, down, down...

Nope. Not drunk, in case anyone is wondering. That is merely the lyrics to my latest favorite Texas Country song, Down by The Captain Legendary. Here, check it out!

Needless to say, it does say a little something about my mood. But I'll be honest, I've become a Texas Country Junkie...that sadly rhymes...wow. Anyway, I found the GREATEST store for buying things such as this song. Though I opted for the She's Like Texas album by Josh Abbott Band. I really can't help it. I've always been drawn to the kind of country that talks about real things, like drinking away someone's memory (unsuccessfully), or being completely heartbroken and trying to get it together. Or better yet, songs that speak about places I know, and have actually been to...like Texas Country. Drinking on an Agua Dulce porch (5 miles away from where I live), or singing on the seawall of Corpus Christi Bay just makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. But if you wanna check out more of what I'm talking about, listen to Whiskey Days by JB and the Moonshine Band or Velvet by Stoney Larue. The simplicity really hits you.

That's the upside of my days lately. The other side could be termed as fear. Why? Well, I'm scared of going back to school. For once, instead of running from home and all the problems there, I've run to home. And I admit I feel completely safe and comfortable here, possibly for the first time ever. I'm not too keen on the idea of going back to face everything I want to stay away from and forget in San Marcos. While it would be nice to see a few people...I'm almost better off without everything back in San Marcos in my life. Sure, I miss the freedom, and it'd be nice to walk out the door for a walk every now and then, but I can honestly say I don't miss much else. Every time I think about going back to that city I get a knot in my stomach, and feel like curling up in a ball.

It's not gonna be the same when I get back. Call it intuition, call it chicken salad, but I know this semester will be different. It's like something snapped in me this summer. Everything's changed.